Rosalind Sedacca has some great information I wanted to share with you as my readers:
“Getting psyched up to tell your children about your pending divorce – or separation? Not sure what to say? When to say it? How to say it? What to expect after the conversation? What to do next? How do deal with your special circumstances? What therapists, mediators, attorneys, clergy and other professionals suggest you do and don’t do to make things better all around? Well, you’re not alone.
Having the “divorce talk” with a child you love is one of the toughest conversations you’ll ever have. Shouldn’t you be prepared?
Professionals all agree on some of the most common mistakes parents make when bringing up divorce or separation. These include:
* asking children to bear the weight of making decisions or choosing sides
* failing to remind children that none of this is in any way their fault
* forgetting to emphasize that Mom and Dad will still always be their Mom and Dad — even after divorce!
* confiding adult details to children in order to attract their allegiance or sympathy
* neglecting to repeatedly remind children that they are safe, innocent and very much loved
* failing to explain clearly that everything is going to be okay.
These are just some of the most common messages that parents fail to convey because they’re just not prepared — and most probably quite scared!
If you’re about to tackle this tough conversation — or you know someone who is — there’s finally help you can depend on to simplify the process. I just completed writing How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide(TM) that Prepares Your Children — with Love! It provides an innovative new concept I created, based on my own life experience. And, most importantly, it works!
To learn more about this new therapist-, attorney- and mediator-endorsed guidebook for parents, click on the link below. You’ll get the whole story of how the easy-to-use template works, how you and your children will benefit from this personalized family storybook approach — and much more. Most important of all, this simple guidebook doesn’t just tell you what to say – it says it for you! So you’re sure to do it right, for the sake of your kids.”
Click here to learn more …
MEET ROSALIND SEDACCA, CCT
Rosalind Sedacca is a writer, an award-winning professional speaker, and Certified Corporate Trainer specializing in both communication and relationship issues. She has facilitated workshops and seminars throughout the United States and beyond on creating ‘conscious’ relationships for both singles and couples. Based on her own personal experience, her new book How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! provides an innovative and professionally acclaimed new approach to breaking the divorce news to your children. Rosalind’s Child-Centered Divorce Network provides resources that help parents create successful outcomes for the entire family for years and decades to come.
I saw an article by Marlisse Cepeda in Womans Day, that was republished on Yahoo News. She notes that nobody wants to get divorced, but those statistics that get passed around make it seem like it’s an almost inevitable consequence of getting married. But have no fear! The truth is less grim than the fiction here. From that ominous 50% divorce rate to pre-wedding cohabitation’s effect on marriage, here are the seven most popular misconceptions about splitting up. (Read the entire article here for the complete debunking).
Myth #1: One in two marriages ends in divorce.
Truth: The divorce rate has been steadily decreasing since the 1980s, and a more accurate divorce rate for American marriages ranges from 40% to 50%. And remember: this factors in people who marry over and over again which drives up the rate.
Myth #2: Living together before marriage lowers the chance of divorce.
Truth: The circumstances under which you decide to move in together make all the difference. If cohabitation occurs out of necessity (say, your partner lost his job and can’t afford to live on his own), the experience doesn’t benefit the relationship. It can reduce the chance of divorce as long as it’s done thoughtfully.”
Myth #3: Second marriages are more likely to last than first marriages.
Truth: One thing’s for sure: giving marriage another go definitely ups the chances of divorce. Roughly 67% to 80% of second marriages end in divorce, and third marriages crumble at an even higher rate. If you already know how to get divorced, the more likely you see it as an option.
Myth #4: Divorce is incredibly expensive.
Truth: When you constantly see headlines about celebrity couples engaged in “multi-million dollar divorces,” it’s easy to think this. However, as long as the two parties involved amicably agree on who gets what and don’t head to court each time to make a decision, the fees are manageable. “Conflict resolution is less expensive than conflict escalation,” meaning: Litigation can be a long, drawn-out process, which can simultaneously heighten clashes and hike up charges, while mediation typically involves less time to reach a resolution, which translates to lower fees.
Myth #5: All ex-wives get alimony.
Truth: Not all divorces involve alimony (money that one spouse is legally obligated to pay the other, either over time or in one lump sum, agreed upon at the time of the divorce, the purpose being to provide either partner with the lifestyle he or she had throughout the marriage. Alimony can be granted when one spouse, wife or husband, is financially dependent on the other. The shorter the marriage, the less likely it is that one spouse became financially dependent on the other.
Myth #6: The mother almost always gets custody of the children.
Truth: Many people think that mothers should always get custody. Legally, though, that’s not the case. Even if the mom is the child’s primary caregiver throughout the marriage, both parents are “entitled to substantial time with the kids. If both parents are fit to raise the child, they’re typically granted some form of shared custody.
Myth #7: The US’s divorce rate is higher than every other country’s.
Truth: We’re definitely up there on the list. The US has the sixth-highest divorce rate. Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Moldova and the Cayman Islands take the top five spots in that order. As for the lowest rates, marriages in Sri Lanka, Brazil and Italy last the longest, possibly due to religion and financial stability motivate women to stay married.
If you are considering or have questions about divorce, contact our Marietta family law firm, Georgia Family Law: Worrall Law LLC. We help families who are going through the divorce process. You may reach us by calling 770.425.6060 or by filling out an online contact form.
The following article is by North Carolina family law attorney Lee Rosen:
Nationwide, collaborative divorce is attracting considerable attention as a proactive and humane settlement option, and it’s starting to catch on . . .. When executed as agreed to by divorcing individuals and their attorneys, studies show that a collaborative settlement is reach faster than older forms of negotiation and greatly reduces the emotional trauma families experience in the throes of a divorce, especially the children. It also significantly lowers the expenses incurred by divorcing couples, protecting families from unnecessary resource depletion at a time when monies are needed to establish two households.
In a collaborative divorce, each spouse has the support, protection, and guidance of his or her own lawyer. Often, other professionals, such as child specialists, financial experts and divorce coaches will be brought in to advise matters in their areas of expertise.
Collaborative divorce is not a dispute resolution option in the same sense as mediation or arbitration. Rather, collaborative divorce is a set of voluntary ground rules entered into by the professionals hired by you and your spouse. While the details vary, the central idea is that the parties agree not to take the case to trial. You, your spouse and all professionals involved sign a contract to honor the following core elements of collaborative divorce:
- To negotiate a mutually acceptable settlement without using court to decide any issues for the clients
- To engage in open communication and information sharing
- To create shared solutions that take into account the highest priorities of both clients
- To ensure the withdrawal of the involved professionals if either client goes to court