Rosalind Sedacca has some great information I wanted to share with you as my readers:
“Getting psyched up to tell your children about your pending divorce – or separation? Not sure what to say? When to say it? How to say it? What to expect after the conversation? What to do next? How do deal with your special circumstances? What therapists, mediators, attorneys, clergy and other professionals suggest you do and don’t do to make things better all around? Well, you’re not alone.
Having the “divorce talk” with a child you love is one of the toughest conversations you’ll ever have. Shouldn’t you be prepared?
Professionals all agree on some of the most common mistakes parents make when bringing up divorce or separation. These include:
* asking children to bear the weight of making decisions or choosing sides
* failing to remind children that none of this is in any way their fault
* forgetting to emphasize that Mom and Dad will still always be their Mom and Dad — even after divorce!
* confiding adult details to children in order to attract their allegiance or sympathy
* neglecting to repeatedly remind children that they are safe, innocent and very much loved
* failing to explain clearly that everything is going to be okay.
These are just some of the most common messages that parents fail to convey because they’re just not prepared — and most probably quite scared!
If you’re about to tackle this tough conversation — or you know someone who is — there’s finally help you can depend on to simplify the process. I just completed writing How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide(TM) that Prepares Your Children — with Love! It provides an innovative new concept I created, based on my own life experience. And, most importantly, it works!
To learn more about this new therapist-, attorney- and mediator-endorsed guidebook for parents, click on the link below. You’ll get the whole story of how the easy-to-use template works, how you and your children will benefit from this personalized family storybook approach — and much more. Most important of all, this simple guidebook doesn’t just tell you what to say – it says it for you! So you’re sure to do it right, for the sake of your kids.”
Click here to learn more …
MEET ROSALIND SEDACCA, CCT
Rosalind Sedacca is a writer, an award-winning professional speaker, and Certified Corporate Trainer specializing in both communication and relationship issues. She has facilitated workshops and seminars throughout the United States and beyond on creating ‘conscious’ relationships for both singles and couples. Based on her own personal experience, her new book How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! provides an innovative and professionally acclaimed new approach to breaking the divorce news to your children. Rosalind’s Child-Centered Divorce Network provides resources that help parents create successful outcomes for the entire family for years and decades to come.
As of your 18th birthday, you became an adult in the eyes of the law.
Even though your kids may still act like teenagers (or you may feel like one), in the eyes of the government, turning 18 means you need to have legal documents in place in case of an accident.
Every adult should have in place an Advance Health Care Directive and a Financial Durable Power of Attorney. Estate planning is not just for rich people. These legal documents are important for everyone who loves their family.
If you don’t have these legal documents in place and something scary happens, it will make life a whole lot more difficult for the people you love.
An Advance Health Care Directive (also known as a living will) does two things: first, it names the person you want making health care decisions for you if you cannot make them for yourself and second, it lets that person know how you want them to be made.
This is important because if you are in the hospital and cannot communicate, you need someone to make decisions for you and you want them to make those decisions as you would want them made, without question.
If you don’t have this document in place, it could create a huge rift among your family as the people you love fight about what you would have wanted.
The important thing in this document is that the whoever you name is also given authority under the new (within the past three years) Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (aka HIPAA).
If your health care agent (the person named in your Advance Health Care Directive) is not designated as your agent under HIPAA, they will not be able to look at your medical records, which makes it mighty hard for them to make health care decisions for you.
By the way, if you have college age kids going off to college, you’ll want to get this in place for your kid. Otherwise, when you call the school nurse to discuss your child’s illness, you may find no one can or will talk with you because they would violate HIPAA if they did.
We get frantic calls in our office at least once or twice each fall from parents looking for legal documents for their college-age kid for just this reason.
The second legal document you absolutely need to have in place as an adult is a Durable Power of Attorney. This document names someone to make financial and legal decisions for you if you can’t make them for yourself.
Beware of the one-page standard durable power of attorney you find on the internet where you just check off a list of applicable powers. I’ve seen family members try to use those to access their loved ones assets and then not be able to because the form was too generic.
It’s important for your kids going off to college to have this in place too because if they are in an accident you are going to need to take over paying the bills and get access to bank accounts and make legal decisions. But, you will have to go through a long and expensive court process if there’s not a signed Durable Power of Attorney in place.
It’s the same for you too. If you are in an accident, and you don’t have a Durable Power of Attorney in place,it will be difficult for your family to deal with things on your behalf.
So, regardless of the amount of money you have in the bank, get your Advance Health Care Directive (or living will) and your Durable Power of Attorney in place at the bare minimum. Oh, and of course, if you have kids under 18 at home, get your comprehensive Kids Protection Plan in place too.
None of this has to do with money. It has to do with making life as easy as possible for the people you love.
SOURCE FOR POST: Family Wealth Matters by Alexis Martin Neely
Do Your College Age Children Have Healthcare Directives? DO YOU?
Georgia Advance Directive for Health Care
In July 2001, the United States Department of State began to implement a new law regarding passport application procedures. Under the Two-Parent Consent Law, both parents are required to execute the passport application for a minor U.S. citizen under the age of 14. By putting this new law into practice, the Department of State seeks to decrease the likelihood that a U.S. passport will be used to facilitate an international parental child abduction.
An increasingly large portion of the assets of married couples consist of rights to payments and stock from pension plans. In many states such assets are subject to division during a divorce. Divorce and division of property are generally controlled by state law, but pension plans are controlled by federal law in many respects.
Pension Plans and ERISA
A major advantage of saving for retirement through a pension plan is that contributions from employees and employers for plans such as a 401(k) plan are not taxed as income until distributed by the plan, usually after retirement, at lower tax rates. However, under provisions of the Federal Internal Revenue Code, the assignment of pension benefits, including transfers to a spouse during divorce, may result in the loss of such tax benefits.
When a marriage ends, the couple must divide up their property and possessions. Either the couple can agree between themselves how to do this or the court will decide for them.
What is property?
Everything with exchangeable value or anything that goes to makeup a person’s wealth: every interest, estate, obligation, right. Anything that you own or that generates income is considered by the law under the category of property:
Your car, your furniture, money in bank accounts, retirement plans, even a business or a profession is property. In a divorce action, property also means what you partially own and owe money on; it includes your debts.
The law in Georgia, views marriage as a relationship between partners, taking into account the monetary and nonmonetary contributions of each spouse to the family unit. Even if one of the partners never earned one dollar, that partner is considered to have contributed to the family’s property (or wealth) and has rights to a percentage of that property.
How does the law divide property?
Georgia is an "equitable distribution state" which means that all marital property acquired during the marriage is subject to division. Property brought into the marriage is not subject to division in a divorce. In order to divide up property in a divorce action, categories of property have been established. Marital property includes all property that was acquired during the marriage, regardless of how it is titled (in whose name it is). Gifts from one spouse to another are marital property if they were purchased with marital funds. Pensions and business interests that were developed by one spouse are considered marital property if they were acquired during the marriage. In fact, the only property that the court may transfer from one spouse to another is half of a retirement plan, benefit package, pension, or profit sharing. .