Cobb County Divorce Attorney Discusses 7 Debunked Divorce Myths

Cobb County Divorce Attorney Discusses 7 Debunked Divorce Myths

Cobb County divorce lawyerI saw an article by Marlisse Cepeda  in Womans Day, that was republished on Yahoo News. She notes that nobody wants to get divorced, but those statistics that get passed around make it seem like it’s an almost inevitable consequence of getting married. But have no fear! The truth is less grim than the fiction here. From that ominous 50% divorce rate to pre-wedding cohabitation’s effect on marriage, here are the seven most popular misconceptions about splitting up. (Read the entire article here for the complete debunking).

Myth #1: One in two marriages ends in divorce.
Truth: The divorce rate has been steadily decreasing since the 1980s, and a more accurate divorce rate for American marriages ranges from 40% to 50%. And remember: this factors in people who marry over and over again which drives up the rate.

Myth #2: Living together before marriage lowers the chance of divorce.
Truth:  The circumstances under which you decide to move in together make all the difference. If cohabitation occurs out of necessity (say, your partner lost his job and can’t afford to live on his own), the experience doesn’t benefit the relationship. It can reduce the chance of divorce as long as it’s done thoughtfully.”

Myth #3: Second marriages are more likely to last than first marriages.
Truth: One thing’s for sure: giving marriage another go definitely ups the chances of divorce. Roughly 67% to 80% of second marriages end in divorce, and third marriages crumble at an even higher rate. If you already know how to get divorced, the more likely you see it as an option.

Myth #4: Divorce is incredibly expensive.
Truth: When you constantly see headlines about celebrity couples engaged in “multi-million dollar divorces,” it’s easy to think this. However, as long as the two parties involved amicably agree on who gets what and don’t head to court each time to make a decision, the fees are manageable. “Conflict resolution is less expensive than conflict escalation,” meaning: Litigation can be a long, drawn-out process, which can simultaneously heighten clashes and hike up charges, while mediation typically involves less time to reach a resolution, which translates to lower fees.

Myth #5: All ex-wives get alimony.
Truth: Not all divorces involve alimony (money that one spouse is legally obligated to pay the other, either over time or in one lump sum, agreed upon at the time of the divorce, the purpose being to provide either partner with the lifestyle he or she had throughout the marriage. Alimony can be granted when one spouse, wife or husband, is financially dependent on the other. The shorter the marriage, the less likely it is that one spouse became financially dependent on the other.

Myth #6: The mother almost always gets custody of the children.
Truth: Many people think that mothers should always get custody. Legally, though, that’s not the case. Even if the mom is the child’s primary caregiver throughout the marriage, both parents are “entitled to substantial time with the kids. If both parents are fit to raise the child, they’re typically granted some form of shared custody.

Myth #7: The US’s divorce rate is higher than every other country’s.
Truth: We’re definitely up there on the list. The US has the sixth-highest divorce rate. Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Moldova and the Cayman Islands take the top five spots in that order. As for the lowest rates, marriages in Sri Lanka, Brazil and Italy last the longest, possibly due to religion and financial stability motivate women to stay married.

If you are considering or have questions about divorce, contact our Marietta family law firm, Georgia Family Law: Worrall Law LLC. We help families who are going through the divorce process. You may reach us by calling 770.425.6060 or by filling out an online contact form.

 

Unhitched without a hitch – Team approach promises more amicable split

Another good article about the benefits of collaborative divorce by Barbara Yost at The Arizona Republic:

When Naomi Garcia sought a divorce in late 2005, a friend recommended attorney Deborah Pratte, who specialized in a process called collaborative divorce. The idea promised a less contentious approach to dissolving a marriage.

Garcia and her husband had been married for 17 years and wanted to spare their 8-year-old daughter the pain of a rancorous split.

"We were extremely concerned about not creating a negative experience for her," the Tucson woman said.

As a social worker, Garcia had seen the wounds that warring parents inflict on their children. "I saw divorce as part of the evil," she said.

Garcia and her husband wanted their divorce to be amicable. Within two months, most of the process had been completed, and the two remained on good terms.

Amicable divorce need not be an oxymoron when couples resolve to put their differences aside and use collaborative law to end a marriage. This style of divorce, created by a Minnesota attorney in 1990, is spreading across the country.

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The Best Lawyers are Nice People

Dan Nunley at the Oklahoma Family Law Blog posted this great article on factors clients shoudl use in selecting their attorney:

Many people have no idea as to what they should reasonably expect from the divorce lawyer they have hired to represent them. In this post, I will discuss some attorney behaviors in an effort to help you find a good attorney and/or alert you to legitimate concerns about your existing attorney.

Happyface In my practice I have worked with many attorneys. Some were the cream of the crop while others were the dregs. Based on my personal experience, I believe that the very best attorneys are also nice people.

The very best attorneys can assertively represent their client’s best interests without being rude and hostile to opposing counsel, witnesses or the court. These attorneys do not feel the need to convince you that they know everything. They are not show-offs. They are not primadonnas. They are not arrogant blow-hards. They also understand that "louder" does not mean "smarter"!

The best attorneys do not feel like they have to prove anything to anybody. They know they are good, and so does everyone else. Whereas many times, less-skilled attorneys feel they must compensate for their lack of skills, knowledge and expertise by being mean, pompous and uncooperative.

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Do-it-yourself divorce doesn’t always sever ties

When Yanic Chan and Vanessa Van split up in 1995, they couldn’t afford a lawyer. So, like thousands of other people without money, they filled out the divorce paperwork themselves, with help from a friend.

In November 1997, Van went to the Riverside County Courthouse to enter a final judgment. "The clerk put the stamp on it," Van said. "I asked, ‘Everything finished?’ She said ‘Yes.’ "

Chan returned to his native Cambodia and married again. Then, in 2006, he tried to bring his new wife to this country. And that’s when Van and Chan got a nasty surprise, one that court officials fear could be awaiting thousands of other former California couples: Their divorce had not been finalized.

Driven by rising legal fees, a shortage of legal aid lawyers and a do-it-yourself philosophy, about 80% of people in California handle their own divorces, according to court officials.

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