I found a great article on the "Diary of a Not-So-Angry Asian Adoptee" blog today. The entire article is here. But here are the bullet points from the article:
1. Adoption is not possible without loss.
2. Love isn’t enough in adoption, but it certainly makes a difference.
3. Show me—through your words and your actions—that you are willing to weather any storm with me.
4. I will always worry that you will abandon me, no matter how often you tell me or show me otherwise.
5. Even though society says it is PC to be color-blind, I need you to know that race matters.
6. I need you to be my advocate.
7. At some point during our adoption journey, I may ask about or want to search for my birth family.
8. Please don’t expect me to be grateful for having been adopted.
9. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
10. Adoption is different for everyone.
As our parents get older and begin to lose their independence, many will turn to their adult children to help them navigate the complicated and costly world of long-term care.
Yet for adult children already caring for young kids of their own, this new role of “caregiver” can be a difficult one to assume. It’s no wonder this group of people is known as the “Sandwich Generation” as they are literally ‘sandwiched’ between the pressures of raising a family, holding down a job and managing mom or dad’s growing medical and financial needs.
As tempting as it is for Sandwich Generation Kids to bury their heads in the sand and deal with long-term care issues as they arise, failing to plan far enough ahead can cause your family to miss out on important benefits, long-term care opportunities and the ability to stay in control during mom or dad’s final years.
Here are 5 planning steps to help ensure your parents are afforded the most protection, flexibility and financial security during their golden years:
1. Find out if your parents have an estate plan and whether it’s been updated in the past 5 years- The will, trust, powers of attorney and health care directives your parents created years ago may not reflect their current wishes and long-term care needs now. Find out what they have in place and have it reviewed to ensure their documents have stayed up to date as their life and the law has changed trough the years.
2. Determine How You’ll Pay For Long-Term Care- Nursing home and assisted living facilities can cost up to $8,000 a month and Medicare will not pick up the tab. In-home care can be equally burdensome for the average family. Medicaid may pay, provided you are hovering around poverty level. The only other option is pay out of pocket—unless, of course, you plan ahead. By acting in advance and not waiting until your hands are tied in a crisis, tools such as long-term care insurance, trusts and annuities may be available to help your parents pay for their care without losing everything they’ve worked so hard for.
3. Get The Legal Authority Now To Manage Their Affairs and Maintain Control- If your parents do not have a powers of attorney or health care directives that allow you to communicate with doctors, access medical records and manage their financial affairs, it’s a good idea to create them now while mom or dad is still in good health. Otherwise, if a sudden medical crisis strikes or your parents no longer have mental capacity to sign legal documents down the road, you’ll be forced to petition a court for control (read: major time and money lost).
4. Document Their End-of-Life Wishes- Thousands of families each year are torn apart trying to decide what their loved one “would have wanted” in serious medical situations. Avoid the stress and conflict by asking your parents their wishes about things such as life support, feeding tubes, organ donation, etc. and legally document their choices to ensure everyone is on the same page.
5. Get Organized To Avoid Last Minute Scrambling- Gather your parent’s important information now to avoid any confusion and delays in the event of a medical emergency. Some important documents to collect would include their insurance information, front and back of all ID cards including drivers license, prescription cards and military ID card, prior medical history, names and numbers of doctors, copies of their living will, health care directives and a list of current medication and doses.
By being proactive and planning for these issues in advance, you can help make sure your parents always receive the care they need without worry or financial struggle. You’ll further avoid many costly legal headaches that adult children face when they are not prepared for their parent’s incapacity or ongoing care needs. It’s never too early to get started, so talk to an estate and elder attorney to determine the best ways to protect your parents, their assets…and your own sanity during the golden years.
To receive our FREE e-book, “Surviving the ‘Sandwiched’ Years: How to Protect Your Parent’s Assets, Honor Their Wishes & Provide Long-Term Care . . . Without Losing Money – Or Your Mind!”, please visit: GeorgiaSandwichGeneration.com